I have gone back and forth on if I should share my personal life with strangers.

I have been told so many times that I should share the shit I have experienced and how I was able to keep moving forward. Even the people who encourage me to share, as encouraging as they are, they don’t realize that there were so many times that I wanted to stop moving forward. I wanted to stop moving altogether. I wanted to die.

So why am I still here? Curiosity. I am here out of curiosity; what will happen to my daughter if I am dead (hell no would she be raised by her sociopath father), what will happen to my mom if I am dead, I will miss my friends, I will miss some of my family (let’s be honest, I deny being related to some people in my family), what will happen…?

Call it FOMO. Go ahead and laugh, I mean, it’s pretty funny if you really think about it. I am here because of my fear of missing out. Ok, even typing it makes me laugh. I can laugh about it now because I‘m still here and this is my past. While suicide is not funny, you can’t always be so serious about everything in your own life.

However, even though this is about my own personal life, a very clumsy life that I have to find humor in or I would still be depressed, I am sure I will offend someone. So if that someone is you, maybe you should move on to another blog, because I am sarcastic, I have no filter, I’m a serial over-sharer, I’m going to say it like it is, I’m not PC, I am not religious but I have morals (this usually scares away most of the people, because how does one not believe in God and have morals. Ahem, my stepdad claims to be religious and is a pedophile! That’s how). So if you don’t mind my honesty, then feel free to stick around.